03. One day I will die & no one cares. (But I hope you do.)
In a hundred years, no one will know who I was.
Fuck. No one will even know I existed.
And barring finding the cure to cancer,
my greatest accomplishments will mean nothing.
Luckily for me, that means painful failures will follow suit.
In this, I’m not alone.
Your life is also meaningless.
I’m sorry that it’s true, but it makes life beautiful, too
Carl Sagan said something like: We’re a mote of dust suspended on a single sunbeam. And from afar, our greatest heroes and worst fears are as inconsequential as the breeze that a stranger makes when they walk past you.
Sometimes I think we’re only a persistent mold on some advanced entity’s bread.
Really just waiting to be discarded on Wednesday night before bedtime.
Despite sounding like a nihilist, I’m optimistic about life.
In its brevity, we experience love
Shit, We even come to love things.
I’m not the first to point this out,
But because life is meaningless
& death democratic,
We can love wholeheartedly.
Love like nothing else matters
Because it doesn’t.
Our surrender is rewarded.
Do you know what that feels like?
I know deep down you do.
The way someone else’s bare skin presses against our own for the first time
The texture of someone’s voice telling you they love you and
the overwhelming despair when they tell you they don’t.
The excitement of when our parents lifted us off the ground and
then accepting when it’s our turn to lay them into the ground.
Win or lose, win and lose
we’ve all loved something or someone more than ourselves
And even if we love something because we love ourselves much more,
It’s still love, and what can be more human than that?
This I know to be true:
That the only things I know to be real: my life and experiences mean nothing at all.
And that everything I do is a negation of my impending death.
Failed attempts at immortality.
The shoes, the selfies, the meaningless banter…all of it.
But It’s fine
I’m still optimistic.
The magnitude of this absurdity is meaningless when I’m with you.